Who among you plays Bloodbowl, whether it is tabletop or digitally? Raise your hands, it’s okay, you can admit it. Don’t worry, this isn’t an intervention, although we all need it. Back when I was in high school, my friends and I discovered this magical game from Games Workshop called Blood Bowl. It combined two elements near and dear to our hearts, Dungeons & Dragons fantasy and American Football. I make the distinction to avoid offense with our foreign readers, who know the true football, called soccer in America. Anyway, as my chums and I spent countless nights and weekends playing this game, tabletop version, we began to argue more. Our levels of general agitation were higher. We did not act ourselves around each other like we always had. The climax of this behaviour happened one day in my basement. We had built teams, formed a league, and were playing games against each other to crown an eventual Blood Bowl Champion. My friends Todd and Kit were in a bitter battle, and Kit made a move that killed Todd’s best star player…his werewolf blitzer. Todd protested that the player that accomplished this feat could not have done so because of a lack of movement, or something like that. It is all hazy now. Suffice it to say, the argument that ensued did not end that night, nor the next, or ever really. The season ground to a halt, the league crumbled, and the boardgame we thought we would absolutely love was mothballed for year. Here’s the thing, though. Our moods improved. We were kinder to each other. We got back to being the friends we had been for so long. We had escaped the clutches of Blood Bowl.
Fast forward 29 years. COVID has pushed us all inside. Two of my friends tell me that Blood Bowl is now on Steam, and cheap. They had started playing again and encouraged me to do so as well. I remember a brief moment where a tiny voice at the back of skull said “You know this is a bad idea, right?” I did not listen. I bought the game. I built teams. I started playing the AI as well as my friends. Then, after about a week, I noticed that I was a bit quicker to anger. I reacted a bit more annoyed with silly questions. I argued with my friends about more things. I realized it had to be Blood Bowl. This game was changing my mood, for the worse, again. I hated feeling this way, so I stopped. Cold Turkey. I told my friends it was just too maddening, and I deleted it from Steam.
Weeks passed, maybe even a month or two. I would often be online and see that one of friends was playing Blood Bowl, because Steam tells you when friends are online AND what they are playing. I felt this longing to give it another try. Maybe THIS time it wouldn’t upset me so much. I looked on Steam and sure enough, even though I had deleted the game, it was still there because I had paid for it. I dove back in, hook, line, and sinker.
It only took two days this time. This game has the uncanny ability to take the things that you build and nurture and improve and dash them on jagged rocks of random despair. Star players died, suffered crippling injuries rendering them useless in the game, and making it nearly impossible to even field a team at times. My mood was sour, to say the least. However, this time, I thought to myself, “I have one team close to being in the Blood Bowl, so let’s power through the pain and see if we can win!”
I did just that. I suffered through players dying, or being injured and becoming dead weight. I fought my way through the games of the Blood Bowl tournament. I made it to the finals, the Championship. I won…and what a hollow victory it was. No pomp. No circumstance. No acknowledgement of victory. No trophy. No enshrinement of the team that finally won against difficult odds. Nothing.
I hate Blood Bowl. Right now, I don’t intend to play it again, but who knows what the future holds. I hate Blood Bowl.
